I didn't like that. It rubbed me wrong. I had to think about why. And, what I discovered what that I didn't like it because it made me responsible for my actions. It removed my excuse for self pity. Every time I reacted emotionally to something, it was my choice to do so, not just the justified response to my circumstances.
I don't like the idea of self pity. I know it is silly and even loathsome to me, however, I enjoy wallowing in it anyways. Ouch. That is not something I like about myself! Perhaps this is one of those things that, as Paul says - I do not do what I want to do, and what I do not want, I do! Don't you love those self-revealing moments? I think I was a little grouchy about it all for a bit.
As time has gone by, however, and I've had some time to adjust, I see the wisdom in what my dear husband said. I want to be a wise woman, that fears the Lord. I want the fruits of the Spirit to be manifested in my life. One of those fruits is self-control. By knowing that I can choose how to react to my circumstances, and by actually making the God-glorifying decisions, I move toward both of those goals.
Proverbs talks about the fear of the Lord being the beginning of wisdom. A friend shared some thoughts with me that provoked me to make one definition of fearing the Lord to be fearing His displeasure with me/my decisions more than I fear/desire anything else. Fearing Him is choosing to honor Him instead of myself, choosing to honor Him instead of knee jerk reacting to my circumstances, choosing self control over self pity.
Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world.
- Helen Keller
Never give way to melancholy; resist it steadily, for the habit will encroach.
- Sydney Smith
